


Foolish Midgardians

by hentailobster



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, he is doing his best okay, maybe i just wanted to write thor being a sweetheart?, thor is helping out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 17:25:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12940134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hentailobster/pseuds/hentailobster
Summary: Thor notices something is going on amongst his teammates and takes it upon himself to help them. He is a god after all.





	Foolish Midgardians

Thor knew that there were some things he didn’t understand about Midgard.  
The internet, for example, was simply impossible for him to wrap his head around. And the fact that the midgardians saw him as abnormal while they connected themselves to an invisible ”cloud” (he vaguely remembered Stark calling it that) filled with every last piece of information, but chose to spend time on silly things and tormenting people. Thor had learned the hard way that a ”website” that sounded like it concerned a man going out for a ride on his mighty steed could mean something completely different on this ”cloud”.  
In many ways the midgardians confused him.  
Though, he had soon realized, they did not confuse him nearly enough as they confused themselves. To him it was plain as day that the patriotic captain and the man of iron were completely smitten with each other, he actually found it rather adorable, but they somehow remained oblivious to it. From the moment he had met them he had expected them to jump on each other at any moment, and had even gotten ready to politely lead the rest of the team out of the room to give the two men some privacy (he saw it as his duty, being the strongest avenger and all) but he never had to. For some unknown reason his two midgardian friends just gave each other looks when they thought the other wasn’t looking, and blushed when they both looked at the same time. There was no wooing, or kissing or even touching and it was making Thor more and more confused with each day he spent with the avengers.  
And when he had confronted the captain about it to express his worry over the entire situation, the man had promptly denied it. That had startled Thor. He had expected the man to be a little shy, yes, given how slow he was taking things with Stark and that loving people of the same gender was somehow not considered as normal as being ”straight”, as Romanov had called it, (Yet another thing that confused Thor. Gay made sense, it was a nice word to describe something but straight just felt like someone had picked a random word out of Stark’s pre-coffee ramblings) but he had hoped that his friend would dare to tell him when he understood how accepting and understanding Thor was.  
Stark too, who Thor had always perceived as a more open man, had denied it, all the while blushing like a child. When Thor had tried pointing out the fact that Stark had been following Rogers’ backsides with his eyes all morning Stark had just punched him lightly and fled, not at all acting like a warrior. Thor had been left standing in the corridor, wondering what part of his approach had been wrong.  
\- Spider lady, may I have some of your time?  
\- Sure, Romanov looked up from her cup of coffee. She was the last one to stay after breakfast, so Thor had decided now was a good time to ask for a lesson on midgardian relationships.  
\- Stark and the captain they love each other correct? Romanov looked as unfazed as ever, though she did blink a few extra times.  
\- I think so, yes? Why do you ask?  
\- Why do they not tell each other then? Thor frowned, By now they would already be in bed with each other, were they only to talk things through like adults, if I am not misjudging the looks they exchange, Romanov stared at him and appeared to be thinking quite hard before responding.  
\- I think they might be shy,  
\- That is ridiculous, they obviously love each other. I had heard Stark was a genius, why does he not realize that Rogers loves him?  
\- Oh boy, this is going to be hard to explain. With Tony it’s quite a long story, so to speak and Steve well…he’s confused enough as it is and having feelings for a teammate is…or is usually seen as a complication here on earth, even if the teammate in question feels the same,  
\- But that is stupid. It’s not-  
\- I know, Romanov looked to be in deep thought, You know what Thor, I think we might have to help them,

\- My friends, the time has come to tell you why I called you all here! The team minus Stark and Rogers were crammed up by a table at a café a few minutes of walking from the tower.  
\- Could you explain why Steve and Tony aren’t here first? Banner looked confused as always. For a man who was so good at all that science stuff that Thor himself didn’t quite understand he somehow looked confused more often than not.  
\- Are we pranking them? I hope we’re pranking them, Barton looked as if he already had ideas coming to mind at a rapid pace, which could hopefully prove useful to them later. They did need ideas, just not of the kind that Barton was coming up with now.  
\- No we’re not. See my friends, it has come to my notice that our common friends are keeping themselves from a healthy and loving relationship on no grounds but fear. As the oldest of us I find myself unable to sit by and not take action, he paused to look out over his friends. They knew much more about midgardian relationships than him, and he was sure they’d be able to come up with many ideas.  
\- So that’s why Steve and Tony aren’t here, Banner nodded to himself.  
\- Oh this is way better than pranking, Barton smirked, undoubtedly already in the process of coming up with a plan.  
\- Indeed it is! The other café guests cast them funny looks, but Thor was not in the mood to care. Not that he ever was, if he was to be honest with himself.  
\- So what are we going to do then? The idea seemed to have caught Banner’s interest.  
\- I’ve been thinking about that, and I’d say we need to bring them as close together as possible. I don’t think talking to them is going to work, Romanov took over, which Thor was rather grateful for seeing as he had not yet had any ideas on how to achieve their goal.  
\- You mean physically close? I think we should be able to pull that off, Barton took a sip of coffee, It’s been a while since we had a proper movie night, hasn’t it?  
\- You have an idea? Romanov raised an eyebrow.  
\- Of course I have! 

It was all organized rather quickly. They decided who were to bring up the idea of watching a film, and in the end it fell upon Thor. He wasn’t as used to acting as Romanov or Barton but he had picked up a thing or two from his brother over the years. Besides his friends all agreed that Stark would immediately jump on the chance to show Thor a movie of his liking, which was crucial seeing as he would sometimes skip out on movie nights to work on one of his inventions.  
The second part of their plan was a little more difficult to perform but in the end they managed quite well. Now they only had to wait until dinner. 

Eating together was rather unusual, but luck was with the team on this evening and Stark and Rogers wandered into the dining area at almost the same time, the former only a few minutes after the latter. The usual chattering began and went on until Romanov poured herself half a glass of water. That was the signal, and Thor loudly cleared his throat.  
\- My friends, was it not quite long since we last watched a film together?  
\- It was, Barton agreed, And I still have a lot I want to show you Thor,  
\- Okay I’ll have to stop you right there Tweety. You have no taste in movies whatsoever, Stark looked genuinely concerned, which moved Thor a little.  
\- I do!  
\- No you don’t,  
\- Thank you Nat. Thor, don’t listen to Clint and his lies, if you want quality movies i’m your man,  
\- What would you recommend then? Thor couldn’t help but smile to himself. Things were going smoothly.  
Stark started listing a vast number of films that Thor had never heard mentioned. The rest of the team joined in, including Rogers who made sure to mention which movies he had seen and which he had not. In the end they chose a movie by the name of ”Jurassic Park”. After a brief explanation of the plot Thor’s interest had been piqued, and since Rogers had not yet seen it it was a perfect choice.  
\- I’ll go get the movie, Stark waved a little and left the table.  
\- Could you make some snacks Steve? A crucial part of the plan, Romanov’s line would get Rogers delayed so that they had time to set their trap.  
\- Sure, Steve smiled and started looking for something. Possibly the paper bags that created popped corn when put in the microwave oven.  
Thor, Banner, Barton and Romanov left Rogers to his work and hurried to the television room and found that luckily, no one had noticed the little change they had done.  
\- All set, Romanov nodded and sat down in one of the armchairs. The rest of the avengers in the room did the same, and then they waited.  
Stark arrived after a few minutes, mumbling something about DVDs being so damn tricky to find, but when he looked up from the case in his hand he immediately fell silent.  
\- Where’s the couch?  
\- Thor broke it, Romanov gestured towards him.  
\- I am sad to admit that I did. I assure you I will pay you back whenever I can, but for now I am afraid we are one couch short,  
\- So where the hell are we supposed to sit? Rogers had entered with a bowl of popped corn.  
\- I could sit with Nat so at least there’s one more chair, Barton offered, already getting up.  
\- That’s still only one chair, what do you want us to do? Rogers was looking a little annoyed, You could have at least told us beforehand,  
\- It’s fine, I’ll sit on the floor, Stark sighed and Thor had to bite back a curse. _Not according to plan._  
\- You’ll hurt your back, that’s out of the question, Banner quickly cut in, and Thor had to try hard not to cheer his friend on. Stark and Rogers exchanged a look that Thor couldn’t quite interpret and then Stark _finally_ gave up.  
\- Fine, we’ll share, but we’re keeping the popcorn with us,  
\- Fair enough, Thor said, getting a little desperate to start the movie.  
It turned out to be a rather interesting one, but it was hard for Thor to concentrate on it when he had to constantly glance at Stark an Rogers. They seemed quite calm with their situation, even calmer than Thor would have expected. He assumed they were captivated by the movie, but it was still a little strange. At times it even looked like they were whispering to each other, hopefully a sign that everything was going smoothly.  
The film progressed, and as the credits started rolling Rogers cleared his throat.  
\- I have-, or rather _we_ have something to tell you all,  
\- Yeah we’ve been talking a little and uh, well, Stark trailed off. He looked to Rogers who nodded and took a deep breath.  
\- Well, the point is, we’re dating. Have been for almost two months now,  
_Oh._ Thor spotted Romanov snickering in the corner of his eyes, but Barton and Banner looked about as confused as he himself was feeling.  
\- You…You’ve been dating for two months? Barton was the first to find his speaking ability.  
\- Yeah, Rogers looked a lot more nervous than Thor had ever seen him. He had heard tales of how he had once been a normal midgardian youngster, and it appeared as if that side of him was surfacing.  
\- What made you suddenly feel like it was the right time to tell us? Banner looked like he was already starting to calm down, but that made sense. He was the one of the group who needed to be in control of his emotions the most, after all.  
\- We thought about it a little and well… it’s not like we’d be able to keep it secret for much longer, Rogers cast a glance at Romanov who didn’t even try to hide her smirk.  
\- That’s true, she said.  
That’s when Thor spotted Stark, who had slowly crept towards the door. He looked almost…scared, as if he was standing in front of a terrible foe and not his friends. That was what made Thor snap out of his shock. He got up so hastily he probably startled the rest of the room.  
\- Well these are fantastic news! He grinned widely, I am personally very glad that you told us all!  
Rogers lit up immediately and Stark stopped on his way towards the exit.  
\- Really, he murmured.  
\- Of course! I wish you all the happiness in the world, Thor wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw the couple sighing in relief.  
Rogers turned to Stark and waved for him to come back and the group got together so that Barton could tell the story of their plan. Thor shot in a few comments where he found it necessary, but mostly focused on Stark and Rogers. They were leaning on each other, hands close enough to barely touch and laughed along to the ridiculous tale.  
Yes, midgardians were hard to understand. True, they hadn’t been keeping themselves from each other, but that they had been afraid to tell the team was something Thor simply couldn’t wrap his head around.  
He presumed he would just have to get some sense into them. It was his responsibility as the oldest, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Thor.  
> Tell me what you thought of this, have fun and don't do murder  
> Bye kids!


End file.
